3 Tips For The New Mom Of A Child With Special Needs

You’re a new Mom of a child with special needs...now what?

You may be experiencing an entire array of emotions and at a dizzying pace. I remember one moment telling myself it would all be fine and the next in the fetal position in the middle of the nursery sobbing uncontrollably wondering how I was going to raise a little boy with Down Syndrome.

The emotional whiplash was exhausting.

That period of my life is why I was inspired to create Twenty One Dandelions. I was a young first time Mother and I was scared to death of what lay ahead for my husband, myself and our child with special needs.

We muddled through that time with a lot of grit and grace mixed in with support from our family and friends.

Blogs were a relatively new thing then. I’m not even sure I knew what a blog was. If I had and I found a blog for special needs moms I am certain it would have been my life line.

To learn from and interact with a fellow Mama Bear who had been there and done that? Priceless.

So, if you are a new Mama Bear you have come to the right place!

Twenty One Dandelions is here for you!

Whenever I write and create content I think of the newbie Mama Bear I once was. She was scared and felt alone. I hope Twenty One Dandelions is the “go to” blog for you I so desperately needed back then.

Max as a newborn. I was equal parts in awe and terrified as a new Mom of a child with special needs.

First things first…you’ve got this.

Yep, you do.

You may have read that sentence and immediately thought I definitely do NOT have this, but Mama Bear you do.

As Marie Forleo loves to say “everything is figureoutable”.

You are going to figure out how to be the best Mama Bear you can be. This blog will help guide you as you figure it out.

You have your mind and your heart. Those are all you need.

As you’re figuring out how to be the best Mama Bear you can be here are 3 tips that have helped me rock this special Mama Bear life!

Now Mama Bear, like with anything on the Twenty One Dandelions blog you should decide what will work for you and your family, what will not, and implement accordingly.

Our children, our families, our values, and our lives are all unique so there is no one size fits all here.

Tip #1 For The New Mom Of A Child With Special Needs: Treat your child with special needs as you would any other child

Read that one again because it’s important.

Yes Mama Bear, I realize there are times this may not be possible. For example, you would not expect your child with special needs with low muscle tone who struggles with gross motor skills to start walking at the same time as a typical child.

Whenever it IS appropriate treat your child just as you would all the others. In our home at dinner all the kids are expected to help set and clear the table. ALL the children.

Your child’s disability doesn’t define them.

It’s one part of them.

When you treat your child like any other child they learn confidence, self sufficiency, and better behavior.

Tip #2 For The New Mom Of A Child With Special Needs: Be active in your community and find your tribe.

As a brand new Mama Bear one of the best things I ever did was find a local support group for parents of children with Down Syndrome.

We started attending monthly meetings before Max was even born. It was so helpful to meet other families who just got it. It was a balm to my bruised heart to see these other families not only making it but thriving!

Every time we have moved one of the first things I do is find the local support groups for families touched by disability.

The internet makes it SO easy to link up with these groups. The people in these groups are a treasure trove of information. They have the inside scoop.

They can tell you which schools are better for kids with disabilities, which healthcare professionals they would recommend, and what local programs are available.

These people understand. They live it too.

I always enjoy going to social gatherings with fellow families touched by a disability because you can relax a little. If your child is sitting in a corner rocking it’s no big deal or if your child randomly hugs someone and starts jibber-jabbering they don’t get the deer in the headlights look you may see elsewhere.

I also recommend being active in other areas of your community.

This can be hard.

Honestly, in the beginning I had to force myself to take our family out. I found it difficult and awkward at times to engage with other families who didn’t have a child with special needs.

Social events in our community were super tough for Max in the beginning. Max was born with Down Syndrome and later around the age of 4 diagnosed with autism. Autism posed extra challenges.

Busy and noisy environments easily overstimulated and overwhelmed him. We would go somewhere and sometimes only stay for 10 minutes.

Some people would tell me we were crazy for doing this. Why bother? Why put yourself and your child through the stress?

I will tell you why...because I do not envision a future where my 30 year old son with Down Syndrome and autism sits at home watching TV all day every day because I was too scared to do the hard work when he was younger.

Being active in our community has been beneficial to Max and to our family. I call Max “Mr. Mayor” because no matter where we go it seems like he is always running into someone who knows him and says hi.

It’s good for Max, it’s good for us, and it’s good for the community to have this type of connection.

Tip #3 For The New Mom Of A Child With Special Needs: Get a vision, create a life map, and strive to live your best life.

We all have hopes and dreams for our children.

Just because your child has special needs doesn’t mean you stop dreaming.

One of the hardest things for me as a new Mama Bear finding out my child would be born with special needs was letting go of all the hopes and dreams I had already dreamed for him. I grieved for those dreams. And then I gave myself a metaphorical smack upside the head!

Silly Mama Bear!

I could still have hopes and dreams for my child with special needs. In fact, now it was even more important for me to dream big for him because unfortunately, many would only think small. I just had to adjust those hopes and dreams.

And so I did.

Max as a newborn. Look at those eyes! This little guy was counting on me as his Mom to dream and set goals for him until he could himself!

I thought about my hopes and dreams for my child with special needs and I wrote them down.

When Max was born I created a vision statement for him.

If you’re unsure as to what a vision statement is and why you need one check out…

5 Reasons You Need To Create A Vision Statement For Your Child With Special Needs.

Once you’ve checked that out be sure to read…

Creating A Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs

This will help you bring into reality your child’s vision statement.

As Max has become older we have tweaked it and crafted it to reflect his own hopes and dreams. When your child is young though go ahead and craft one for them. Dream away Mama Bear! Be sure to write it down. When you write it down it becomes more tangible and real.

You can’t steer the boat if you don’t know where you are going.

Use the vision statement to help guide you when faced with decisions for your child.

Once you have a vision statement you can create a life map which is basically an action plan to make your vision become reality. When you craft a vision statement and create a life map you are taking actionable steps to help your child with special needs live their best life.

Don’t stop there though!

Go ahead and create one for you as well!

I know crafting a vision statement and creating a life map may sound a bit intimidating, but trust me, you can do it!

If you think you want a little guidance though check out my E-workbook

A New Mom’s Guide To Creating A Vision Statement And Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs

This will help you get started rocking life for you and your child with special needs!

So there you have it Mama Bears! Three tips for the new Mom of a child with special needs.

I hope you found something useful to help you rock this special life!

Dandelion Tribe Takeaway: Three tips for the new Mama Bear of a child with special needs. Tip #1 Treat your child with special needs as you would any other child. Tip #2 Be active in your community and find your tribe. Tip #3 Get a vision, create a life map, and strive to live your best life!

Mama Bear Share: What tip do you have for a new Mama Bear?