3 Tips To Enjoy The Holidays For The Special Needs Mom

The Mathe crew LOVES Christmas!  It is by far our favorite holiday and while holidays can be fabulous they can be stressful, especially for a family with a special needs child.

Hey Mama Bears, full disclosure here. There are affiliate links in this post so if you click on the link and buy the product I will earn a small commission. Now that we’re clear on that let’s get back to rocking life with special needs! 

Families already tend to be overscheduled so add in holiday parties, holiday school functions, and the various holiday preparations...it’s super easy to become overwhelmed. 

For a family with a member with special needs this can be an especially trying time as schedules get disrupted and kids struggle with sensory overload due to all the holiday bustle and glitz.  

Prior to making some changes, we definitely noticed an uptick in behaviors during this time of the year and it was quite miserable.  

It’s Christmas time!  

We’re supposed to be full of Christmas cheer! We MUST go look at Christmas lights! We HAVE to visit Santa and snap that picture! We NEED to attend that Christmas event!  

And so we raced from one Christmas activity to another, desperately trying to fit it all in and manage behaviors that frequently were an issue. 

We may have looked like we were having fun and in the Christmas spirit, but we were miserable and exhausted.

I was falling into bed at night dreading the full line up of Christmas fun we had planned for the next day, and wondering why the kids, particularly the one with special needs, couldn’t just behave better. Yes, I realize how completely unfair I was being but I was channeling the Grinch so please cut me some slack.  

Then, one day after a particularly busy and yet miserable December weekend, a light bulb went off in my head...we didn’t HAVE to do all this.  

I’m not really sure what triggered this marvelous revelation in my brain.  Perhaps I was listening to a podcast about living simply and focusing on the important things.  Maybe I was reading a book or perhaps a friend said something in casual conversation that made it click.  I really can’t recall, but a light bulb moment it was and it changed our approach to the holidays.  

Our time is our most precious commodity.  

Our children are growing up with every passing second and the magic of believing only lasts so long.

Rather than spending this precious time shepherding them from one activity to another, never really enjoying any of them because we are tired and overstimulated, we decided to shift our thinking and focus.  

More is not better.  

Here are three tips to slowing down rather than speeding up during the holidays so you can soak it all in and actually ENJOY them. 

Now Mama Bear, like with anything on the Twenty Dandelions blog you should decide what will work for you and your family, what will not, and implement accordingly. Our children, our families, our values, and our lives are all unique so there is no one size fits all here. 

Tip #1 To Enjoy The Holidays For The Special Needs Mom: Choose One Or Two Holiday MUST DO Events. 

We choose one or two holiday events that we will definitely do. That’s it. Everything else is completely optional or a hard no.  Hubby and I place no expectations on ourselves or pressure to do anything beyond those two events. 

When the kids were young, we often attended a fun event in the town Hubby and I grew up in called Christmas in Ellicottville.  We were able to go to our hometown and walk around the village which truly is majestic during the holiday season.  During the event there are lots of free activities such as horse drawn wagon rides, cookie decorating, riding with Santa in a firetruck, Christmas crafts, and hot cocoa to enjoy. Perfect for young families. 

Greeting Santa Claus at Christmas in Ellicottville.

Tip #2 To Enjoy The Holidays For The Special Needs Mom: Make a fun family day out of things you would normally do for the holidays

We choose to make a fun day out of things we would normally do for the holidays.  We set aside an afternoon or evening to stay home and decorate for Christmas.  We blast Christmas music, guzzle hot cocoa as we trim the tree and set to the task of turning our home into a merry getaway.  

We also set aside time for baking Christmas goodies such as cookies and our popular caramel popcorn.  We watch Christmas movies, sip hot cocoa, and enjoy some of the treats as we bake.  We make sure there is nothing else planned to give us plenty of time to enjoy the moments and keep it low key.

Quite honestly, these are two of my favorite activities of the holiday season.  

Baking Christmas cookies together.

Tip #3 To Enjoy The Holidays For The Special Needs Mom: Guard Your “Yes”

During the holidays we really guard our yes.  As a Mom of a child with special needs I have been involved with various non-profit organizations. In the past I’ve been recruited to volunteer to organize various holiday events for these organizations.  I no longer do this because it took me away from my family during a really special time of year.  

Remember, time is our most precious commodity. We’re only going to be living under the same roof as a family for so long before our children grow up and move out. I want to enjoy this time with them. 

I want to revel in their awe of Christmas when they still believe as well as enjoy the holiday traditions together as they become older and no longer do.  Perhaps when they officially grow up and move out I may once again venture back, but not now.

Now, I am savoring their childhood and teen years, squeezing every drop out of the time we have together.

Bonus Tip: Take a Sabbatical 

The Mathe crew is a soccer family.  We love our sports and extracurricular activities but it’s ok to take a holiday sabbatical. When the kids were younger we did.

Maybe your kid doesn’t play a sport but takes piano lessons or maybe your child with special needs does music therapy once a week. Take a month off.  It’s ok, truly.  

Ofcourse, give the teacher or facility a heads up ahead of time, but go ahead and take a sabbatical.  It allows you more time during a really busy time of year and allows your family to focus on the joy of the season and each other.

Side bonus…it gives you a little extra money in your pocket! I don’t know about you but I welcome that ANY time of the year, but especially during the holidays!

There you have Mama Bears! 

Three tips by the Mathe crew to help you slow down and ENJOY the holidays. 

If you enjoyed this post then be sure to check out… 

20 Fun Activities To Do With Your Child With Down Syndrome To Get In The Holiday Spirit

The Best Halloween Tips For Your Child With Down Syndrome

If you're looking for ways to connect then be sure to find me on Facebook and Pinterest! You can also become part of the Mama Bear Crew and join my email list. I’ll send you an email at least once a month AND you’ll get exclusive access to the Mama Bear Crew page which has an IEP goal bank, IEP glossary, and an About Me Medical page.

I hope this post helps you rock this special life.