A Mom's Guide To Potty Training Your Child With Special Needs

Potty training.

Heavens to Betsy, there were times I wondered if Max would ever be potty trained!

All the other two year old children would seemingly mock us with their clean Elmo underwear, ability to know when they had to go AND skills to get to the potty on time.

One of the pediatricians I trained under would tell concerned parents of children not to worry. He had never seen one kid go to kindergarten and NOT be potty trained within a week.

At that time, being a young, single, and childless woman I thought that was a pretty good strategy to help ease the fears of those parents. In most cases, eventually a child without special needs will just decide to do it, especially if his or her Kindergarten buddies are all doing it.

Positive peer pressure right ?

If you are a Mama Bear of a child with special needs you know to worry.

Some preschools and kindergarten classes even put up roadblocks to your child with special needs attending if they are not completely potty trained.

Can they do that?

Well, it depends, but in some cases, yeah, they can!

Here’s the thing, if at all possible you want your child with special needs to go to preschool or school fully potty trained.

Why it’s important to potty train your child with special needs

Things can be tough enough for our kids. Let’s not add to it by them being singled out because they have bathroom accidents in school!

Potty training is an important milestone for ANY toddler, but for our kids with special needs it is especially important. It takes away a potential roadblock for them attending preschool and school with their typical peers.

If they are NOT potty trained it also draws attention to them that may not always be positive.

Intensive Potty Training And Your Child With Special Needs

We chose to do an intensive potty training program when Max was around two and a half years old. We chose this age because he was walking well (he started walking around age two) and many of his typical peers were already potty trained, but some still were not. So, it wasn’t a big deal yet that Max wasn’t potty trained but that would change in about six months or so.

The intensive potty training program was just that…INTENSE.

We did it with the help of our BSC and TSS. We did modify it and I am going to share with you how we did it.

Like with anything on Twenty One Dandelions Mama Bear, read it, think about it, and then tweak it so it fits for you and your family. If it’s not for you…that’s okay too!

You are the expert on your family.

Before Starting An Intensive Potty Training Program These Things Need To Be In Place

#1 There are no significant medical issues hindering your child from being successful.

Other than Max being born with Down Syndrome there were no other issues impacting his ability to go on the toilet rather than in a diaper.

#2 There are extended periods of time of dryness despite wearing a diaper.

Max was able to tell when he had a dirty diaper and would, most of the time, come to us to change him.

#3 There is an interest in how grown ups toileted and your child has names for bowel movements and urine.

Max could say poop and pee and he would appropriately come to us and say “poop” when he pooped in his diaper and wanted to be changed. He also was showing an interest when Mom and Dad were using the bathroom.

Items Needed Before Starting Intensive Potty Training

#1 A potty

We had both a stand alone toddler potty as well as an Elmo potty seat to go over our regular toilet seat. We used both. Some kids prefer one over the other. Follow your kid’s lead on this.

#2 Fun underwear

Max picked out a couple of packs of underwear. He chose Elmo and Mickey Mouse. Solid toddler picks.

#3 Fun things to do while on the potty.

This is much easier to do now than it was when we did this. I-pads were just starting to be a thing and playing videos and movies on your phone wasn’t really a thing. We went to the library and checked out a bunch of books, we had puzzles, and we had highly desired DVDs and a portable DVD player.

Quick Mama Bear tip. If your child LOVES something such as Paw Patrol or Doc McStuffins try to limit these beloved shows leading up to starting intensive potty training. Trust me, you’re going to want something that is keeping them engaged and busy.

#4 Liquids and snacks

We had popsicles, juice that Max LOVED, and LOTS of salty snacks for Max to eat. I’m talking pretzels, goldfish crackers, and Ritz crackers just to name a few!

#5 A clear schedule

Mama Bears, I TOOK TIME OFF OF WORK to do intensive potty training with Max. Is it what I wanted to do during my vacation?

Nope.

A Mama Bear has to do what a Mama Bear has to do though right?!

Potty training is important and they don’t call it intensive potty training for nothing. It’s intense and in order to be successful you NEED a clear schedule to focus on it.

#6 A timer

You can simply use the timer on your phone or a kitchen timer.

#7 Reinforcers

A reinforcer is the treat your child is going to earn when they successfully go in the potty. It can be food (Max had M&Ms) or a preferred toy/activity (Max got to play with ball pit balls).

#8 Data sheets

I’m going to be honest. We did not keep data sheets. The professionals do recommend keeping data sheets to track progress.

Starting Intensive Potty Training With Your Child With Special Needs

And so it begins…intensive potty training.

In the morning, Max woke up, we changed him, and fed him a good and salty breakfast of eggs and bacon with all the chocolate milk he could drink.

After breakfast we officially started the intensive potty training program.

To begin we had Max sit on the potty until he had a bowel movement or urinated.

We plied him with all the juice and salty snacks his little heart desired. He thought it was great. We also did all kinds of fun activities to get his mind off the fact he was sitting on the potty.

If he tried to get off we would gently put him back and tell him he could get off as soon as he went poop or pee on the potty. Remember, poop and pee were words Max knew for using the bathroom. Use whatever terms your child understands. If they call it doo-doo and pee say that.

When Max FINALLY went pee in the potty we celebrated.

Now, this part truly depends on your child. For Max, when he was successful we cheered, did high-fives, gave lots of verbal praise, and then he received his reinforcer.

If your child does not like loud noises cheering in a bathroom is probably not a good idea.

Once Max had successfully used the toilet he was allowed to get off the potty for 15 minutes.

We put him in underwear and set the timer. When Max was off the toilet every 5 minutes we would do an underwear check.

During an underwear check we would have him feel the front of his underwear to see if he was dry. If he was he would receive verbal praise and a reinforcer.

After 15 minutes he went back on the potty for 10 minutes OR until he went poop or pee on the potty.

Again, we did fun stuff on the potty to keep him there. If Max did go we cheered, gave high-fives, he received a reinforcer, and he could get off the toilet immediately with underwear checks every 5 minutes.

If he didn’t go, no big deal, he was allowed to get off when his 10 minutes of sitting on the potty was over.

We basically repeated this cycle all day long.

Once Max successfully went poop or pee in the toilet he was then able to get off the potty for 15 minutes with underwear checks every 5 minutes. After his 15 minutes were up he would go sit on the potty for 10 minutes or until he went on the potty.

If he went on the potty we would increase his time off the potty by 5 minutes so he would then get 20 minutes off the potty. Every time he went poop or pee on the potty and had no accidents while off the potty we would increase his time off by 5 minutes until we reached 2 hours off.

This is where the data tracking sheets come in handy.

We would not allow him to go more than 2 hours without having to go sit on the potty in the early days of potty training.

During the first few days of intensive potty training we did not restrict his access to drinks or salty snacks and actually encouraged them quite a bit. As he had more successful days and began to get the hang of it I faded out my encouragement of constantly drinking juice and eating salty snacks.

If Max had an accident while off the potty we would tell him “No potty in pants. Pee and poop in potty” and then have HIM remove his underwear and wet pants, place them in the laundry, and put fresh underwear and pants on.

If he did not want to do this we would do hand over hand with him. If he had an accident he would have to sit on the potty for 10 minutes and we would decrease his time off the potty by 5 minutes.

Again, this is where the data tracking comes in handy.

Your child is considered to be on the road to success when they have 3 successes in a row with no accidents or they start initiating on their own.

I took time off of work and this was our day to day life for an ENTIRE WEEK. We did put him in pull-ups at night because we just could not do this at night too.

Here’s the thing…in order for it to be successful YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO DIAPERS DURING THE DAY!

Yep, don’t do it. This is why you clear your schedule so you’re not tempted to put a pull-up on your child because you have to be somewhere.

The first month of potty training I was carrying extra pairs of underwear and entire outfits along with an arsenal of wipes and plastic bags for soiled stuff with me wherever we went.

Here’s the thing though…

Yes, it was intense and hard and there were times I thought I was going to lose my mind, but IT WORKED!

Max was successfully potty trained within a week and what a relief it was!

No more worrying about not being able to send him along with his typical peers to preschool! And you better believe I received immense satisfaction when people would ask if he was potty trained and I could look them right in the eye and reply with a confident “You betcha.”

It rocked.

Hey Mama Bear, if you liked this blog post you may like…

Positive Parenting Solutions For The Special Needs Mom

5 Easy Morning Routine Ideas For The Special Needs Mom

How To Deal With Temper Tantrums: A Guide For The Mom Of A Child With Special Needs

Dandelion Tribe Takeaway: Before considering intensive potty training make sure there are no significant medical issues hindering your child’s success, your child is experiencing extended periods of dryness in their diaper, are coming to you when they are soiled, show at least a passing interest in how grown ups use the bathroom, and have names for the bodily functions.

In preparation for intensive potty training have the following #1 A potty/potty seat #2 Underwear #3 Fun things to do while on the potty #4 Salty snacks/preferred drinks #5 A CLEAR SCHEDULE #6 A timer #7 Reinforcers #8 Data tracking sheets.

Intensive Potty Training Schedule: At first have your child sit on the potty until they successfully pee or poop on the potty. Once successful, allow them to get off the potty for 15 minutes with underwear checks every 5 minutes. After 15 minutes have your child sit on the potty again for 10 minutes or until they are successful. Increase their time off the potty by 5 minutes every time they are successful without accidents up to 2 hours. If they have an accident have them sit on the potty for 10 minutes and decrease their time off the potty by 5 minutes.

Mama Bear Share: Have you potty trained your child with special needs yet? If yes, how did you do it?