Creating A Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs In Three Easy Steps

Got a life map?

We do!

A life map is basically a road map for your child with special needs.  

Before you can get a life map you need a vision statement. 

A vision statement is how you imagine your child living his or her life as an adult. 

The life map is how you are going to get there. Or at least near there.

When Max was young I was overwhelmed and felt confused. Often. 

Which therapies? 

Which activities? 

What did we want him to learn? 

What should we focus on? 

There are only so many hours in the day and although I love my guy with special needs to bits we could not spend every minute of every day solely focused on him making sure we did ALL THE THINGS. 

I was super anxious and questioning myself as a Mom. Was I making the right decisions for Max? 

I felt like we were spinning our wheels, but not moving forward.  I had decision paralysis and was second guessing EVERY decision that was made.  And then I had a revelation.  

I didn’t have a plan for Max!

There was no direction.  I was questioning everything and unsure as to what to do because there was NO VISION.

This is not good Mama Bears. 

It wasn't good for me, our family, and it certainly wasn’t good for Max. 

No vision, no guide, no plan, nothing to lead his team.  I realized we needed a vision and we needed a life map.

Mama Bear got to work.

You see, I have always been a girl with a plan.  

I remember being an overweight tween girl with dreams of being a starting player on my high school soccer team.  I was not in shape, had two left feet, and was actually scared of getting hit with the soccer ball.  I was SO FAR from being a soccer player much less a soccer player that had a starting position!

And yet, I had this dream. 

One day I sat down, got out my notebook with the unicorn and rainbow on it, and wrote out my plan.  My plan started with getting in shape by running at home, eating healthier, and signing up for the local summer soccer program.  I had it all planned out step by step and although I did go back and tweak the plan along the way it worked.  I did become a starting player on my high school soccer team. I even became team captain. 

Some people love the idea of a plan but don’t know where to start. Let me walk you through how I do it. 

First I research.  

I read books, articles, search on Pinterest and Google.  I read ALL THE STUFF. 

Just a side note. I set a time limit on how long I am going to research. Otherwise some of us (um, ME) can research indefinitely and then never get to the next step.  We don’t want that! 

We want you to have a life map for your child with special needs so you can use it right away as a road map to make decisions and make PROGRESS! 

After I research I set goals.  

I typically will have a goal that I’m relatively certain can be attained, then I have a stretch goal which is one that I am pretty sure can be attained, and then a bit of a “Hail Mary” goal which is one I am not at all certain can be attained but it sure would be awesome if it was.  

Once I have my goals I devise a plan of how I’m going to achieve them. 

 I WRITE IT DOWN.

That’s a key element for me.  I write down my plan and I revisit it at least once a month or more.  I prefer pen to paper, am I dating myself right here?

It doesn’t have to be pen and paper if you don’t want it to be. In fact if you think you are going to lose it this way then type it out and save it to the cloud.  The plan just has to be thought out and documented so you can reference it.  

So, back to the super anxious, overwhelmed, and scared young Mom of a child with special needs I once was.  It was such a light bulb moment for me when I realized I needed a plan for Max.   

Creating A Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs Step #1: Crafting A Vision

I started with crafting a vision.  

Remember, at this time Max was still young so I couldn’t really get a lot of input from him. Don’t let this stop you from creating a vision statement and life map for your child.  You need to have something so you can make progress. Use your Mama Bear intuition.  

Creating A Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs Step #2: Trust Yourself.

As Max has become older and I have tweaked the vision I do so with his input.  You can too.

A vision statement and life map are meant to be fluid.

They can and likely will change as your daughter or son with special needs grows and changes.  Life happens am I right?!

The vision for your child will serve as your beacon as you navigate life and life with special needs.  And it’s ok to change course if needed.  

Max loves the water. I find this amusing and appropriate since I often feel like we are navigating uncharted waters with him!

I asked myself, how do I want Max’s adult life to look?

I wrote down all the things that popped into my head. I didn’t filter anything.  If it popped into my head I wrote it down.  Once I was done with my brain dump I crafted it into a vision.  

Creating A Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs Step #3: Look At Your Vision Statement And Map Out The Steps Of How Your Child Will Get There

Use the vision statement you’ve created with the help of your child if they’re old enough to map out the steps of how that vision will be achieved. This is your life map!

Use your child’s vision statement and life map to help guide you as you make decisions that come up.

Once you have crafted the vision statement for your child with special needs use it and share it!  

Share the vision and life map with your child’s school team, therapists, extended family, and other supports your child may have in his/her life.  

I have the overall vision and life map and then I create a mini-vision for the end of the school year.  I can hear some of you saying to me, “Wouldn’t this be the IEP?” 

Well, yes I do think about his IEP goals when I am doing his mini-vision statement for the year, but I include stuff we are working on at home such as learning to use the microwave and zip a jacket.  I also include new things we would like him to try and things we would like him to do and experience in the community.  

I really recommend this mini-vision statement to help you make progress in ALL areas with your child with special needs.  I craft it at the end of the summer and use the end of the school year as our time frame but you can do it however it feels right to you.  

Again, once you have created the mini-vision do not lock this thing away! 

Share it.

Bring it out frequently to review it and keep it fresh in your mind so you and your child can rock this life!

Once I had a vision and life map for Max the anxiety, overwhelm, and plain old fear improved.  As a Mom of a child with special needs I’m certainly not going to fib and say it all went away. 

Let’s keep it real.

There’s ALWAYS a little bit of anxiety, overwhelm, and fear when you’re a Mama Bear.

Sitting down, creating the vision statement, and writing out a plan of how I thought we could get there provided direction. 

Creating a mini vision statement for each year with a plan of how we are going to achieve it helps keep me, Max, and his team accountable and improves progress. 

We may not always achieve everything we hoped to but he has always made steady progress.  That’s success in my book!

If you want to read more check out my blog post

Five Reasons You Need To Create A Vision Statement For Your Child With Special Needs

If you want to get started but would like a step by step guide to help check out my E-Workbook

A New Mom's Guide To Creating A Vision Statement And Life Map For Your Child With Special Needs.

Dandelion Tribe Takeaway: Craft an overall vision statement for your child with special needs.  Use this statement to help guide you as you create a life map to achieve this vision.  Mini-vision statements with mini life maps done every year help keep everyone on track and making progress.

Mama Bear Share: What is your biggest hurdle when creating a vision statement and life map for your child with special needs?