Haircuts For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism
Max came into this world with a full head of hair and he was three months old when he had his first hair cut. It went smashingly well.
I snapped away pictures for keepsakes and I think I have a lock of hair somewhere around here to commemorate the occasion. Hair cuts were easy enough until around 15 months.
Max receiving his first haircut at 3 months old.
Then it was like a flip switched and they became torture.
Hey Mama Bears, full disclosure here. There are affiliate links in this post so if you click on the link and buy the product I will earn a small commission. Now that we’re clear on that let’s get back to rocking life with special needs!
Max was born with Down Syndrome and later diagnosed with autism. As is common in people with autism Max struggles with sensory issues.
The memory of that first horrible haircut is seared into my brain. We went to a salon on a Saturday. It was fairly busy. Max was suddenly nervous, but doing ok. I sat in the salon chair with Max on my lap as the stylist put the cape around us. At the first snip he went berserk. Crying, screaming, and thrashing around.
We were stunned.
We tried everything to calm him, but nothing was working. He was signing “all done” over and over. We had to physically hold him down while the stylist, a nervous wreck by now, worked as quickly as she could.
He was creating such a commotion other stylists were running over to check on our stylist expecting some horror scene, not a toddler receiving a haircut.
Customers were walking by with varying looks of pity, annoyance, disgust, and curiosity. I felt like I could see their thoughts in a bubble above their heads like in a cartoon. They were judging my child and they were judging me.
“What terrible behavior! Must be the parents' fault.”
“That child needs a good spanking”
“I’m so glad that’s not my child.”
Finally, it was over. The stylist politely asked us not to come back.
I was burning with shame.
After that traumatic experience I started sneaking into Max’s room when he was sleeping attempting to cut his hair. There I was, skulking about, armed with a pair of scissors and a flashlight snipping here and cutting a little bit there all while trying not to wake him.
It did not go well.
There are a few photos from that time and it truly looks like Max’s hair was cut by a stylist who enjoyed a little bit too much wine. I swear I didn’t drink the glass of wine until AFTER I was done.
It took A LOT of trial and error, but haircuts are now tolerable for Max and for us so I ‘m going to share some of the things we tried and what we learned.
If haircuts are nightmare worthy for you and your child with special needs hopefully this will help you go from nightmare to tolerable a lot quicker than we did.
Now remember Mama Bear, your family and your child with special needs are unique. Some of these things may work and some may not. You are the expert on your child and your family. Take away what will work for you and don’t worry about the rest!
Haircut Tip #1 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Find A Stylist Willing To Work With You.
This is a big one. There are some really great people out there who are fabulous when working with people with special needs. And then there are some who are not. Try to find one that is fabulous or at least is willing to work with you and your child.
The good news is there are salons popping up who cater to people with autism or other special needs. They receive extra training to learn how to work with these individuals and to make it as pleasant of an experience as they can.
Snip Its is one that comes to mind. You can google autism friendly salon and see what comes up in your area. This is also a great time to pick the brain of other parents of children with special needs. Ask where they go and what their experience has been.
When Max was a toddler there really were not a lot of places like Snip Its or other salons that catered to kids. We found a friend of my Mom’s who had a shop in her home. She was super sweet and friendly and she was willing to work with us.
We would schedule an appointment at the end of her day or at the very beginning when there was nobody else there. She stayed calm, went as quick as she could, and still managed to give a great haircut.
Haircut Tip #2 For Kids With Special Needs: Bring Distractions
Distract, distract, distract. I am not a big fan of bringing the I-pad wherever you go and having your child on it constantly while you are out, but for this situation I’M ALL FOR IT!
Bring the I-pad, bring the phone, bring the fidget spinner, bring whatever you need to keep your child’s mind off the fact they are getting a haircut that’s sending them into sensory overload.
Haircut Tip #3 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Use a Reward Board And Rewards
We brought Max’s reward board and used it. At first, we focused on safety. He would receive a token for just sitting there without trying to kick or grab the clippers or scissors. We used goldfish crackers for an immediate award. At the end, if he did well he would receive ice cream when we were home. These were highly motivating things for him.
Check out Why And How To Use A Reward Board With Your Child With Down Syndrome if you want to learn more about how a reward board can benefit your child with Down Syndrome and how to use one!
Haircut Tip #4 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Desensitization
We worked on desensitization between appointments. Max was already doing a brushing program with our occupational therapist using a soft bristled brush like these below.
We were already brushing arms and legs and his back so we added his neck, forehead, and head. We could only do it for really short periods of time because he really did not like it.
I do feel it made a big difference. After we had been doing the brushing program for a while we added a mini handheld massager like this one.
He REALLY did not like this. I would use it on myself first and then have him just hold it on his neck, forehead, and head. Initially he could only tolerate it for literally a second or two. Gradually we built up to longer periods of time. It was a super long, not easy, and not fun process. It did make a difference though.
Haircut Tip #5 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Limit Sensory Overload
Whenever possible we tried to limit the sensory overload. We used ear plugs, we skipped washing his hair before the cut, we brought a fresh shirt for him to change into immediately after, and we tried talc on his neck to limit hair clippings sticking to him.
We experimented with scissors versus clippers and warm water versus cold water in the spray bottle to wet the hair. Some things were a big help and others not so much. Experiment with what is best for your child.
Haircut Tip #6 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Timing/Environment
We discovered the best time of a day for a haircut was in the morning. Max was well rested and fed. This really seemed to make a big difference versus after lunch and nap time. We scheduled accordingly even though sometimes that meant being at the salon at 7am.
Haircut Tip #7 For Kids With Down Syndrome And Autism: Watch Videos/Read Books
We watched videos of people getting their haircut. Max would watch family members get haircuts. We read books about getting a haircut leading up to one. If you’re looking for book ideas check out these.
We tried to prepare him as much as we could. Springing something on Max has never gone over well for us. We’ve learned he definitely doesn’t look forward to it, but he definitely does better when he is expecting it.
Haircuts for Max are no longer dreaded. They are certainly not enjoyable, but they are tolerable. What they look like for Max has evolved too.
Max prefers a buzz cut and Hubby is pretty handy with the clippers. Haircuts are now done at home. Max strips down to his underwear and watches the I-pad or TV while Hubby gives him his haircut. Afterwards, he immediately jumps into the shower and then proudly shows me how handsome he is with his new cut.
The reward board, ear plugs, and books are no longer needed.
Max prefers a buzz cut so now we do haircuts at home with clippers.
Mama Bear, if you are in the early years and haircuts are an absolute nightmare in our experience it does get better. It seems so far away when you are in the middle of it, but really time will go quickly. Stay strong in the meantime.
So there you have it Mama Bear! Some tips and tricks to help make haircuts for your child with special needs tolerable and help you keep your sanity.
If you enjoyed this you may also like…
5 Tips To Get The Most Out Of Your Child With Special Needs Medical Appointment
A Mom’s Guide To Potty Training Your Child With Special Needs
5 Morning Routine Ideas For The Special Needs Mom
I hope you found something that’s going to help you and your family rock this special life!
Dandelion Tribe Takeaway: Haircuts can be super stressful for kids with special needs and their parents. Make them more tolerable by 1. Finding a specialist willing to work with you or special training working with people with special needs. 2. Bring distractions. 3. Use a reward board and rewards. 4. Desensitize. 5. Limit sensory overload. 6. Be aware of the environment and best time of day for your child to get a haircut. 7. Watch videos of people getting haircuts and read social stories.
Mama Bear Share: What tips and tricks do you use to get through a haircut with your child with special needs?
